Being broken is not something that is popular among Christians today. Instead we seem to have this hair brained idea that we must always appear strong and full of joy and happy to the world. It's like we are campaigning for Jesus like Pres Obama campaigned for office, all smiles and charming sayings.
If you walk the streets of Matamoros, Mexico or the ghettos of Atlanta or New Orleans or even our nation's capital for very long, you will be broken. I've tried to walk each of these places and not let it get to me, but I always come away broken and without answers to life's pains. If you go to Africa in many of its war torn countries or travel down to Central America you will see pain and desperation on a level your heart simply cannot handle for long.
I really can't comprehend how Mother Teresa served so many years in the ghettos of India. It boggles my mind. She must have had a spiritual reserve unlike anything we have ever seen. It's one thing to work in a church and serve as a minister for years on end, it's a whole other level of struggle and sacrifice to do what she did for so many years. Brokenness must have been a close companion of hers.
It maybe that we are about to witness some severe pain and suffering by many in the United States in the coming years, only God knows. It maybe that it is avoided somehow. I cannot imagine that we could avoid it. Too many have lost too much and too much greed and corruption has destroyed so many lives and families. Sooner or later there will be a crying out by many for justice for gettting a fair deal in life. Many in our country are broken and many more will come to that same point of brokenness.
So, why write such a dreary article? I am in a place of brokenness, having seen so much pain and injustice and wrong doing by so many. The only way I can deal with it is prayer and sharing the struggle with others. Maybe just writing it down does something for my soul and heart. I don't know.
Am I depressed? No, I've been there once or twice before and this is not depression. My heart is strong, heavy, but strong. I am still working and serving and praying and giving. Depression would not allow me to do what I do and enjoy simple pleasures of life like I can with my friends Martin, Aaron, Rusty, K T, Erin, Panchito, Meg, Chris, and others.
Brokenness and depression are two different things. If you've been through both, you understand. If not, I can't help you see the difference except to say that depression is like a huge cloud that will not go away always over you, drowning you with its weight. Brokenness is a heavy weight that is almost too much to bear, but like a backpack on your back, somehow you keep walking and at times you even feel your strength and your spirit arises.
Well, I feel the fire in my legs and my heart's blood is pumping. I think it's time to ascend the mountain.......
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